Reading — Rules I Try to Live By

Rules I Try to Live ByOn Other People · Rule 14

On Other People

Rule 14Chapter III

Keep short accounts

Why this rule exists

Resentment compounds like debt. A small hurt left unspoken grows quietly until it's out of proportion to whatever started it. Keeping short accounts means clearing things while they're still small, before the story hardens. I've watched friendships end over a pile of tiny grievances that any one conversation, held in time, could have dissolved.

Rules I Try to Live By

In practice

When something bothers you, raise it soon and small, while it's still a five-minute conversation. Say the thing, hear the answer, then genuinely let it go. Don't keep a private ledger of everyone's slips. I try to ask myself whether this will matter in a week, and speak up only if it truly will.

When it doesn't apply

Short accounts need a safe place to settle them. With someone who punishes honesty or turns it against you, protecting yourself matters more than clearing the air. Not every account can be kept openly, and that itself is information.

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