Rule 3 of 17 · Chapter I — Before the Date: Being a Person Worth Meeting
Commit the daring act of suggesting an actual plan
Why this rule exists
Brace yourself for a move of breathtaking audacity: propose a specific thing to do, at a specific time, like a person who has decided the outcome matters. The alternative, the endless limbo of 'we should hang out sometime' and 'idk what do you want to do,' is where budding romances go to quietly starve. Passing the decision back and forth forever is not easygoing; it reads as indifference wearing the mask of politeness. Taking a gentle initiative shows interest, spares everyone the exhausting negotiation, and gives the whole thing a shape. It is remarkable how attractive it is to simply be someone who makes a plan and then, wonder of wonders, follows it.
In practice
Offer something concrete but escapable: a coffee, a walk, a low-stakes drink at a place you can name, on a day you can name. Keep first dates short and easy so nobody is trapped in a four-hour dinner with a stranger; a coffee that goes well can always stretch, while a marathon that goes badly cannot shrink. Pick somewhere you can actually hear each other, and have a backup in your pocket in case the first idea falls through. If they suggest an alternative, delight in it; the point is momentum and consideration, not control of the itinerary.
When it doesn't apply
Suggesting a plan is not the same as steamrolling one. If they are uneasy about a venue or timing, flex without sulking. And for a first meeting with someone you have only known online, a public place and your own transport are not paranoia, they are common sense.